Tuesday, June 16, 2009

From Outlet To Ritual In Marriage...

Over the next few postings I will be writing about some observations in my own life about taking certain aspects that are intended to be outlets and the danger in turning them into rituals thereby taking the life right out of them.

One common excuse I hear when a married couple decides to divorce is, "We just don't love each other the way we used to" or "the spark is gone". It is a very painful and sad decision that effects so many people but we live in a society where the odds of you divorcing are actually greater than you staying together. We have made it really easy to get divorced and have somehow started looking at it as if if we another step in a relationship instead of an ultimate one.

I think this is why God illustrates our relationship with Jesus as a marriage. He is the groom and we are the bride. His promise to never leave us or forsake us is the epitome of marriage defined. We the church claim to be protectors of the sanctity of marriage when it comes to gay rights but completely ignore how many divorces are ravaging the pews of our churches (a bit of a hot sports opinion I suppose).

When it comes to marriage I believe there is a great danger in allowing it to be come routine. Even date nights can become predictable, kisses can become habit, saying "I love you" can simply become a response. Misty and I have known each other for almost half of the time we have been alive and if I am not careful I can allow the length of our time together to grow into staleness resulting in two people living under the same roof.

Going from outlet to ritual in marriage is a subtle process that many don't clearly see until they are miles away from the people they use to be. This is why it is important to keep your channels of communication open and look for ways where routine is sucking life out of your marriage.

"I love you" makes the difference when the words you are saying come from your heart and not your mouth.

Heart and Soul,
BAG
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