The Need For Life-Changing Friendships

I am reading the always exciting book of Ecclesiastes. Solomon is doing the best impression of Captain Depression that any one can do. In chapter 4 as he is talking about things that he sees that is meaningless, he talks about seeing a man that was all alone and how this results in a miserable life. After this small rant he gives a great reason for living in community with close life-changing friends.

v.9
"Two people can accomplish more than twice as much as one: they get a better return for their labor."
----Do you have a friend who is helping you accomplish your dreams?

v.10
"If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But people who are alone when they fall are in real trouble."
----Do you a friend who is committed to helping you find restoration when you fall?

v.11
"And on a cold night, two under the same blanket can gain warmth from each other. But how can one be warm alone?
----Do you have a friend whose relationship with God inspires you to pursue your Heavenly Father more passionately?

v.12
"A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.
----Do you have a friend that stands beside you regardless where the attack is coming from?

Random Thoughts on Friendships:
We are created to live in community with others.
Life is to dangerous an adventure to go at it alone.
Be wise in who you allow to speak truth into your life and defend you from attacks.
Give the same amount of loyalty that you expect from others.
Be the friend that you want to have.

Heart and Soul,
BAG
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Words to chew on

"Intellectually we all know that we will die, but we do not really know it in the sense that the knowledge becomes a part of us. We do not really know it in the sense of living as though it were true. On the contrary, we tend to live as though our lives would go on forever."
----Frederick Buechner
"The Hungering Dark"

If today was the last day of your life what would you want to make sure you accomplished? What relationships would you insist on mending? How would you want people to remember what matters most to you?

Just a thought to kick around...

Heart and Soul,
BAG
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Meeting Needs

I am in the middle of a book where I can take it 5 pages per session before my brain starts to turn to mush. For this reason I picked up another book last night. (I usually am a one book guy because it seems like I can only wrestle with one thought at a time, please don't tell the other book that I am cheating on it.)

This new book is written by Tim Elmore and is number 2 in a series of books titled "Habitudes". I find this series really interesting because he uses pictures to teach leadership principles. If you get a chance, it's an easy thought provoking read.

Speaking of thought provoking... in the first chapter he is discussing how leaders are more host than they are guest. I was reading along at regular speed when I ran across a statement that made me stop in my tracks:

"When we start looking, it's amazing how many needs there are around us.
When we start leading, it's amazing how many we can meet."

I find this to be true in me. If I remove the blinders of my life from my eyes, I see a world outside of me that is full of needs. Some are small and require little of me, some are so large that my heart hurts. None the less, what I do about this is so important in not just my development as a leader, but as a person!

Heart and Soul,
BAG
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Pursuing The Next Chapter

Last September I sat down and wrote out of list of decisions I wanted to make in my pursuit to continue growing and in changing the person I want to become. I go back to it periodically to ask myself if I am on track or have abandoned the cause all together. I find that by giving myself goals to reach for, I will make wiser decisions and will be more proactive in pursuing the adventure of life.

My list is broken down into three areas of improvement: Heart, Mind, Soul. This morning I thought I would share with you what is on my list and challenge you to take some time and make one for yourself.

Heart
*stop pre-judging people
*grow in my capacity to love
*listen more when my heart is restless
*write more letters of encouragement

Mind
*set aside daily time to "think"
*watch the "entire movie" more in life situations
*clarify my focus and stick with it
*break things down to simplicity
*write daily about a weekly topic
*be less technologically available and dependent
*learn to play the piano

Soul
*pursue wisdom through the Proverbs daily
*invest more in people
*find ways to help "Stewart's"
*be o.k. with being uncomfortable

This is my list and while typing I confess there are some items that have not been addressed, some that I just reminded myself of and some I smile about because I am on course and moving down the road.

What are some of your goals? Not your 5 or 10 year plan. Not what kind of car you are saving up for or even the "mountain" you want to climb. What are your goals when it comes to the person you want to become? I believe the only way you can get there is by making daily choices that lead you in that direction.

Heart and Soul,
BAG
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Storehouses

I have been spending some time in the book of Malachi. (In case you don't know where it is, it's hidden as the last book of the Old Testament.) God is speaking to a nation of people who have taken Him for granted. The priests are short changing Him on offerings, the people are unfaithful to Him in their devotion to Him. This causes big issues when you are a perfect God and the ones that you cherish above all creation are acting so foolishly. (It makes me wonder if we are really so different from the Bible people).

In chapter 3, as God is confronting them in their attempts to rob Him, He calls them out. He essentially tells them to put His supply to the test. He says:

"Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. TEST ME IN THIS," says the Lord Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. I will prevent pests from devouring you crops, and the vines in your fields will not cast their fruit," says the Lord Almighty. "Then all the nations will call you blessed, for yours will be a delightful land, says the Lord Almighty.
---vs. 10-12

This is one the things I love the most about my Heavenly Father, because He knows there is nothing greater than Him, He calls us to test Him in some incredible ways.

This causes me to think about some of the ways I am short-changing God in my walk with Him. My time...my resources...my desires...my choices.

Today, I will make the choice to see just how incredible my Heavenly Father can be. You should too.

Heart and Soul,
BAG
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Pain in the depths of my soul

I would like to thank everyone for their prayers. This has been an incredibly difficult chapter for me lately. To go through what I have been suffering is not for the faint of heart and I would not wish this on anyone. I realize that I am responsible for almost all of what has happened to me and I have learned my lesson. I wish never to return to the trauma of this experience and if you wish to do the same just ask me.

The steps to recovery are:
1. Call XBOX and report that your 360 is not working.
2. Send the 360 to them for repairs.
3. Suffer through the pain of being separated from your 360 for an unbearable 2 weeks.
4. Receive the phone call that it will be delivered today.
5. Sit on the front porch like a kid waiting on Christmas for the UPS person to drive by. (I recommend moving to the porch, this way every vehicle that is the size of a bus or dump truck won't cause to you to dart to the door.)
6. Eventually it will make it to you.

Though I don't wish this on anyone, I want you to know that there is peace on the other side of this pain. I know, I have survived.

Heart and Soul,
BAG
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The most important blog ever written

As I sit at my laptop this morning in excitement for what I am about to share with you. I am thinking of you and how this information is going to change your life forever. The keys that I am about to give you will dramatically change the way we relate to each other and possibly our Heavenly Father.

What I am about to say needs to be taken seriously and will not be easy to hear. It will take more out of you than you thought you could give. But you will be changed for the better if you take heed to this advice.

What you so desperately need to know is....(hold on)...(Barak needs something).....(I'll be back in a second)....(still gone).......(play soft music in your head)........(o.k. I'm back, but only to tell you that we have decided to go to the zoo.)

I guess I will just have to tell you this life-changing information later.

Heart and Soul,
BAG
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Discovery

I have a quote taped on the outside of my bible. It is by Albert von Szent-Gyorgyi (I am not sure who he is but he sounds very intelligent and with a name that long surely you wrote something). His quote goes like this:

"Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen
and thinking what nobody has thought."

I love it!!! This is one of my motivating reasons for spending daily time in the Word. It is a powerful collection of ancient truths that still today finds ways to have a modern impact. I believe this quote can be applied in so many different areas of life; problem solving, strategy, vision seeking and casting, relational conflict, the list goes on and on. Some of the greatest breakthroughs this world has ever seen was the result of men and women looking at what everybody else was looking at but having the courage to think differently. They had the courage to ask the difficult questions and dig deep to find the truth.

God has brought us into a world that is rich to explore and discover the beauty of how He is at work in all of it. Why then do we consistently allow ourselves to be trapped in our thinking just because we are unwilling to stretch ourselves and discover what is out there at the tip of our grasp?

Heart and Soul,
BAG
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Today Matters A Great Deal

During lunch today I decided to get my truck washed. As I was waiting by the window like a little kid for my truck to come down the line I met a man who may have been the most talkative guy ever. He kind of reminded me of good ole Augustus McCrae (for the sake of the rest of this blog I will refer to him as Gus, and if you don't know who Augustus McCrae is then I don't know if we can be friends).

Gus was every bit in his 70's and in need of a bench to sit on and use his inhaler. At first, I gave him the polite nod and went back to seeing my truck get sprayed. Then Gus broke the silence with a penetrating statement; he said, "My doctor told me 30 years ago to stop smoking, now he tells me it isn't going to make a difference because it has already killed me." I must confess, his remarks left me with nothing to say except, "I'm sorry to hear that."

Over the next few minutes Gus shared with me his regret in not taking his doctors advice and how he wished he could take that one choice back. Now, Gus seems to be the kind of guy that doesn't let to many things bother him and it wasn't long before he gave the "there is not much you can do about it now speech" and we wrapped up our conversation and I drove off.

While I was leaving the parking lot I couldn't help but imagine what the Gus of 30 years ago would think about the Gus of today. Would he adjust or let this play out just the way it is ?

It leaves me thinking about a Maxwell quote:

"Yesterday shapes who we are today,
just as today shapes who we will be tomorrow."

Today, you and I will make choices that don't seem to be significant in the fabric of our lives, but the choices will navigate us toward our future. The challenge we face is in making choices that will help us get to where we want to go and be the people we want to be. Choose wisely.

Heart and Soul,
BAG
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Small victories are the path to major breakthroughs

We have all heard the statement, "You may have won the battle, but you haven't won the war!" Indicating there is still more fighting ahead of you. Though that may be accurate when said, I find that the key to winning the war is through accumulating victories in battle. (I realize there have been times in history when that wasn't the case. So put your history textbook back on the shelf. My point is that most wars are won by accumulating victories in battle). The more battles won, the better then chance you have in winning the war.

I believe the same strategy applies to the obstacles of life. Rarely, will we jump from defeat to victory. The progression that has a lasting impact is one adjustment here, another there and eventually what once shackled you is so far down the road you barely recognize it.

The key to this is identifying the little victories you experience along the way. Those moment when your former self would have acted in a completely different (and much more damaging) way.

By recognizing small victories you...
1. Create needed momentum to blast through difficult barriers.
2. Instill confidence to fight back in the event of a counter-attack
(I beat you once and I can do it again).
3. Remind yourself that you are not done growing.

If you want to experience major life breakthroughs, the ticket isn't a hail-mary, the difference is taking the necessary "small" steps that promote the long-term results and using "small" victories as a catalyst in your pursuit of a changed life.

Heart and Soul,
BAG
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Engaged in community

I spent the day with some of the best friends any man can ever have. I realize that the relationship that I have with the guys are not the regular kind of friendship that men have. We have done a lot of life together and I believe that our greatest adventures are still down the road.

Today, I was reminded how important it is to surround yourself with a group of people where you can sometimes be the idiot, sometimes the genius, but all the time be known by them by one of the greatest titles one can ever have..."friend".

Life is more enjoyable and more fulfilling when we are engaged in community and adventure.

Spaghetti is ready! Gotta run!

Heart and Soul,
BAG
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Hit Risk Head On

"By avoiding risk, we really risk what is most important in life---reaching toward growth, our potential and a true contribution to a common goal."
---Max Dupree (author)

Last night I finished reading "Leadership Gold" by John Maxwell and stumbled upon this quote in his chapter titled "For everything you gain, you give up something" (this chapter was worth the price of the book). Maxwell is talking about the reality of as leaders advance and climb to the next level there is always something they have to exchange. It is not possible to, on one hand, tackle the beast of what lies ahead while remaining safe in the comfort of your living room.

Unfortunately, this is what happens to most leaders when they stop growing...they stop risking. They evaluate what the risk would cost and decide they would rather not pay the price. When they do this they cap their own leadership potential and opportunities.

Now granted, I type these words and don't have much to risk (other than a bit of pride) in my new stewardship as a leader. My test lies a bit down the road when I risk through something I have helped establish.

However, I believe if I remember this principle today, when it appears tomorrow I will be more able and capable of making a wise choice.

Heart and Soul,
BAG
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Uncomfortable

"Sad is the day for any man when he becomes absolutely satisfied with the life he is living, the thoughts he is thinking and the deeds that he is doing; when there ceases to be forever beating at the doors of his soul a desire to do something larger which he seeks and knows he was meant and intended to do."
----Philips Brooks (the minister who spoke at Abraham Lincoln's funeral)

I am a big believer in leadership. In fact, I buy into John Maxwell's mantra that "EVERYTHING rises and falls on leadership". The greatest lessons history teaches us is chalked full of leaders making great choices and succeeding and poor choices and suffering defeat. The issue that every leader faces is that at some point in their tenure as a leader is that they will do both.

However, I am not sold that everything rises and falls on the decisions of leaders. I think Mr. Brooks here has revealed a key into the lock of every leader. True leaders realize that there is always "something more" out there to pursue. They never arrive. The moment a leader stops looking for what is next is the moment they stop leading. I was having a conversation with a friend today where I found myself saying, "The challenge with leading is that you can't be so far ahead that your vision is out of the realm of possibilities for the people you are leading, but not so close to the crowd that it's confusing about who is leading who." (I am sure I was just repeating something I read from someone else)

Comfort has to play a factor here. When we stop asking ourselves the tough questions about what is next, what is out there, what is making my heart beat faster in excitement? We have stopped pursuing life and leadership.

I am in a season of life where everything we do is an adventure, where we can succeed beautifully or fail horribly. This is where these words have come in to play in some incredible ways. I believe that the enemy of GREAT may just be GOOD. I also believe that the enemy in my story has no problem allowing me to settle on good if it distracts me from the great that God is offering me.

There is a beating in all of our hearts of what lies out there that is begging us to pursue it. The challenge is that it is marked full of uncertainty and danger, uncomfortableness, and (if it is worth the pursuit) will require more out of you than you knew possible. But on the flip side, it will take you to higher heights than you could imagine, change the lives of those you lead and will give you a better opportunity to add value to this world you live in.

So, get uncomfortable and listen to your heart.

Heart and Soul,
BAG
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Lash OUT!!!

My friends and myself have been wrestling with a single thought over the past few weeks: What would it look like if everything we did was done in love? What if every person you encountered was encountered in love, was helped in love, was forgiven in love, was seen in love?


What if you chose in the moment your enemy throws another punch (emotionally or physically) to not retaliate in revenge but in love? What if you chose not to lash out in anger, but lash out in love?


I believe that doing everything in love is possible. NOT EASY, but possible. If it weren't then God would not go through such great lengths to call us to live in love.


I think if we chose to do something as audacious as doing everything in love the people you and I encounter would experience Jesus in a way they have never seen before.


Heart and Soul,
BAG
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